skolotājs

No rīta dēls saka tēvam: "Es šodien neiešu uz skolu!" 
- Kapēc, dēls? 
- Redzi, pirms mēneša mūsu skolas fermā nomira calītis. Un nākamajā dienā mums bija vistas gaļas zupa. Pirms nedēļas nobeidzās sivēns. Un nākamajā dienā pusdienās bija sautēta cūkgaļa. 
- Nu, bet kas tad šodien? 
- Vakar nomira mūsu matemātikas skolotājs...

Knife

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.